One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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