sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
