I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
