the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
