If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
