Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Randomize
