Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
