Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
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