This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize