Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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