it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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