i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
