I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
