Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
