I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
