i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
they're like a gay fantastic four
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize