I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
