I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
