frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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