We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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