Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
