Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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