Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
