I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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