Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize