I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
