Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
