he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
