it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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