I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
