whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I just blew my weed a kiss
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
