stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
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