She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
