I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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