He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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