I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
