If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
ugly people sure do ruin things
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
