Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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