you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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