***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
