my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
You pole danced in your parka.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize