I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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