Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
