She said her name was "party"
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
