I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
