After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
