Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
i now understand why vodka
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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