You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
