Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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