A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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