Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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