so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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