have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
