thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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