is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Randomize
