Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
