shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
