im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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