do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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