How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize