the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
