so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
