How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
