Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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