then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize