I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
