just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize