what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
sarcasm needs its own font
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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