Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
